given my recent experiences and observations in close proximity with lots of french people, i thought i would give my advice on how to look, and dress, french. should you find yourself in need of such a skill. and if you think it's all scarves and pointy shoes.. well, you're 80% right but i'll explain anyway.
so you want to look like...
...a young french woman in her 20s
the key here is dark colors and neutrals. you'll need skinny jeans, naturally, to showcase your cute flats or tuck into your boots. boots are an absolute necessity, but the style is flexible. tall or short; black, brown, tan or gray. don't forget your lonchamp bag which you can buy in a range of colors - just make sure they have the impractically short handles. you'll need a nice heavy wool coat (black) for winter and a ridiculously long, thick scarf - preferably in a neutral shade, like a grayish brown - that you'll wrap around several times and bury your face into when it's cold. your hat should be a neutral black or white (purple if you're feeling daring) and should complement your short hair and sideswept bangs. even though the top of you's all bundled up, feel free to wear skirts and dark tights all through winter.
...a middle schooler
there's a lot more freedom with color and pattern here. plaids are acceptable, and the color of your tights can range widely. on a night out, you might even be able to swing a bright pair of leg warmers. your sneakers can be any color though chucks are of course preferable. the key here is the heavy eyeliner and loud talking on the metro.
...you're tough
we'll go with the typical marseille-inspired fashion here. you'll need a track suit, black or white is best though you might be able to get away with red if you've got it in you. the key here is - and i cannot stress this enough - you must tuck your pants into your socks. so as to better display your narrow european sneakers. pumas or asics are preferable. baseball hats are acceptable but they don't naturally showcase your haircut, close-shaved on the sides and a little thicker on top. if you're in middle school consider getting a design shaved into it. for the total effect, be sure to listen to your music without headphones on any public transport system.
...an elderly woman
here it's all about the accessories. your actual clothes won't matter much because you'll be wearing a long, warm coat over them. as for footwear, boots are of course still your best bet. when it's a little warmer, you can opt for sensible yet still stylish flats. you should keep your hair short but if you feel like expressing yourself, why not try some unnaturally red hair dye? and of course no elderly european woman would feel like herself without her wacky european glasses. make sure the shape is nice and angular and that the frames are a noticeably bright color. try for red or purple.
...and elderly man
don't even bother. with all these characters, nobody's looking at you.
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